Becoming a Parent...

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by ExLuther, Oct 30, 2018.

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    ExLuther

    ExLuther New Member

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    Hubby and I are embarking on an exciting new chapter of our lives. We're adopting an 11 year old son from Colombia! We hope to be leaving in about a month and will return to the US with our boy before the end of the year.

    This is completely new territory to us. We've long been inspired by James 1:27, which tells us that part of true worship is to look after the orphans. We're so excited, and fairly terrified.

    So I thought I'd seek some input from the spiritual family we have here. :) I'm baptized, hubs is not. We both share belief in TTATT. We remain in our congregation because there's nowhere better to go, and we couldn't move to a church that believes in the trinity or celebrates Christmas and Easter or preaches heaven and hell. We love our congregation and we're content where we're at.

    Our boy is coming from a mostly Catholic country. We don't know how extensive his holiday seasons have been, but we do know he's used to visiting family- which we typically do as well, just not for their specific celebrations. He's probably used to celebrating birthdays.

    Anyone here have any experiences or ideas when it comes to teaching the truth to a youngster? Did anyone bring a family into the truth around these ages? I'm curious how to instill our beliefs and values without harshly cutting him off from what he's used to at a time when our family needs to bond and grow close in a very peculiar and uncommon way.

    He's 11, but slightly delayed in some areas due to early childhood trauma and injury. He scores OFF THE CHARTS in areas of morality and ethics, which they actually score in Colombia along with school grades- very cool.

    We've been attending some meetings in Spanish, and we have one of the kids books in both Spanish and English. He's learning English in lessons twice a week since May. We plan to find a hall in Colombia and attend our meetings there so he can meet other witnesses in his own country before coming home to America, since we'll likely be there a few weeks or more.

    Not to even mention, how do you deal with TTATT with kids?! We want to be honest and realistic about everything... We want him to choose Jehovah even though the org has its issues.

    You know how when you're expecting a child, everyone has opinions? It's particularly difficult to endure some of the well meaning opinions of sisters and brothers when you're the only one who sees the darker side of things. But it's manageable. We can do this!

    Thanks for your help, guys!
     
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    Tsaphah

    Tsaphah Experienced Member

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    Hi ExLuther,
    It’s a wonderful thing you are doing. With all the “Trumpisms”, and turmoil he creates about people from those “other “S...” countries”, I hope you have already received the proper papers for you to bring him “home”. The main word here is LOVE!! Give him plenty of that. Just remember that it will be all NEW for him. Everyone will be giving you “their advice” on how to raise him. Just be sure that it is with Jehovah’s word and love. Also, keep in mind that it will all be new for him too. May Jehovah’s and Christ’s blessings be with you, your new Son, and your Hubs.:)


    P.S. I have lots of experience raising children. Daughters, Grand Kids, and Great Grand Kids. I always used God's word in their teaching, with Love.
     
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    Tsaphah

    Tsaphah Experienced Member

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    Hello ExLuther,
    I am assuming that you have adopted the "Son" that you mentioned back in October, 2018. If everything went as planned for you, I have some information that will be very helpful. I came in contact, through a friend who is a former teacher, who put me in touch with another retired teacher, who wrote a book for reaching and teaching young children. These are some things to keep in mind for helping the child to grow.

    I will ask him if I can send you the basic information; steps in the introduction necessary to help the child grow into a successful adult . Actually, you can purchase the book through Amazon or Barnes and Noble. It is titled: LISTEN TO ME A Child's Plea, by Carl David Anderson. It is a fantastic book. The author and I are in touch, for helping my grand, and great grand children. The basic thing to start with is "Self-Esteem" for the child..
     
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    ExLuther

    ExLuther New Member

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    Hey T! We have indeed had our son now for 3 months, today actually! I will look up this book, thank you!!

    The adoption process was beautifully smooth, and our son is pretty amazing. His love for God is so strong, he has transitioned seamlessly from his Catholic background into our spiritual routine and hall attendance. He even takes his Bible and Great Teacher book to school in his backpack to read! Came home right before the holidays and did great in understanding why we don't do the tree and gifts and such. He's a blessing. :)

     
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    Joshuastone7

    Joshuastone7 Administrator Staff Member

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    Awesome! It's good to read of a heartwarming story, in the world we live in...
     
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    Tsaphah

    Tsaphah Experienced Member

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    This last week has been a rough one for my wife and me, both of us getting sick. But, the blessings keep coming from our children. I told the wife; “We are being paid back, all the time and money we spent on them while they were growing up.” :)

    Not a day went by that they would call or stop to see if we needed anything. They went shopping for us, prepared dinners for us, took my wife to the doctor, etc. When I wanted to pay for the groceries and other products, the answer was: “We can’t remember how much that was!” My youngest daughter cleaned up all the leaves and debris from the last storm that blew through. I wanted to help but she said she had it covered.
    Train up a boy according to the way for him; even when he grows old he will not turn aside from it.” ( Pr 22:6 NWT ) Works for girls also!
     
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    ExLuther

    ExLuther New Member

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    That is so beautiful! :) What wonderful children you have!!

    Our boy was asked during the process if he was still hoping to be adopted. He said yes, he wanted a mom and a dad and a puppy, and he will love with them until he's 30 when he becomes a doctor!
     
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    Tsaphah

    Tsaphah Experienced Member

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    Wonderful!! Keep encouraging him. All is within his reach.
     
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    RR144

    RR144 New Member

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    You know when I was growing up (we were catholic) we did Christmas and birthdays and all the other holidays. I remember my parents asking if we wanted to put up a tree and my brothers and I looked at each other and said "naaahhh!" We hated putting it up and taking it down. Birthday parties eventually ended for us too at an early age. I'm a bit introverted, so gatherings and such was just not my thing. Didn't care for it. So later when I converted to the JW's and was told "we don't celebrate holidays" I was okay with it, because neither did I, but not for religious reason.

    We didn't have kids until AFTER we left the Witnesses. I have 2 kids, seven years apart, my youngest just turned 17 yesterday. I sent him a card. My then wife, loved the holidays and wanted to do Christmas with all the trimmings. I told her if you want to do it go ahead, just leave me out of it. I eventually warmed up to it with some reservations. I remember going to my first Christmas dinner at the home of some Bible Student brethren. We had a study on the birth of Jesus, later we had a Testimony Meeting, sang hymns, had dinner and fellowshipped through the night. So it was a very Christ oriented Christmas. Just about everything the Bible Students do is Christ Oriented, (Christmas, New Years, Thanksgiving, etc.)

    So we did the same thing, and explained to out kids everything about Christmas. being mindful of what C.T. Russell said in 1904

    .

    Of course, it's different when you're still attending meetings at the Kingdom Hall and active with the Witnesses. Hard to hide that kind of stuff. Of course I lost count of the many times I was invited over to the homes of Witnesses for dinner and it happened to be Thursday and we had turkey with all the trimmings. Their response was always "the turkey was on sale".

    Lord bless,

    RR
     
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    Joshuastone7

    Joshuastone7 Administrator Staff Member

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    I waited in life and now have a 9yo boy. It wasn't till after he was born I started to consider celebrations. I came into the 'Truth' over 30 years ago and ended all holidays from then on.

    One day (I believe it was from Perimeno), in fact I found it HERE, had an article about birthdays. I hadn't considered his explanation from that angle before, and now we thank God in our remembrance of his special day. While that is the only celebration I remember besides our Lord's memorial, no one can now tell me I am wrong for doing so.

    We all must make sure of our own conscience, not a group like the WT telling us what we can and cannot do. How many lives have been lost through their arrogance?

    All love...

    AJ
     
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