Hello all, as requested here is my story & the jouney I have been led upon so far . . . .
I have been trying to establish my standing with Jehovah God and Christ for many years. I had been involved with Jehovah's witnesses for around 18 years on and off which obviously included much studying with the them and attending meetings etc. My parents were baptized witnesses but fell away when I was a young child due to some immoral behaviour between a certain brother and sister who my parents held in high regard, this stumbled them and hence lead to their depart from the organization. My Father always kept his faith in God and Christ and I guess that was had a knock on affect on me, that is why I ended up on this journey. I grew up doing the things kids and teenagers usually do, going out with friends, girlfriends etc but although I did things wrong there were certain things my conscience would not let me do even though I would try to dismiss it. Anyway as an adult I married a beautiful girl with a beautiful heart. We were made homeless at one point and had to stay with my parents for a short time but they moved into a smaller property so we had to find somewhere to live fast. We had started a study with a Jw couple a few months back and they offered to put us up until we could find our own place, my wife and we were in two minds about it but we really had no option so we took them up on their kind offer. This turned out to be a big mistake! The Jw lady was a nightmare to live with, we found ourselves staying out as late as possible as to avoid seeing her. A totally different person to who we studied with but we did not hold a grudge and forgave her as we realized it was hard for her to have someone else living in their home with them, although it did stumble us a bit. We managed to get a place to live for ourselves in a different near by town. We started up another study with a wonderful elderly couple, lovely people. A younger Jw man started sitting in on our study and I became very good friends with him, he seemed to understand me as he came from a similar background. Anyway this guy who I held in high regard because of his zealousness and love for the truth ended up having an affair with an elders wife which really shocked us, I was very upset over it and was told that we shouldn't have anything to do with him. Well although I was upset with him I couldn't treat him like that as it was not my place to judge him. He turned up at our place to explain, I made it clear that I disagreed what he, they had done but I did not judge and told him that the matter is between him and God, he apologized for any upset and stumbling he had caused and encouraged me to stick with the "truth".
We moved home again to another town and started studying there and going to meetings and so on, we had a our fair share of trials and I guess that could be why we moved about alot. During this time my wife and I had children too.
We finally settled down in a town near the coast as thought it would be good for the our children and my work and yet again we started a study and became regulars with a local congregation. Over time I started to see that some there were a little judgemental especially certain elders but that’s another story! Anyway with counsel from elders and my study conductor I made many changes inside and out but it never seemed to be enough. I had the meeting where the elders approve you for going out on ministry, I passed their test but it didn't last long. I wanted to get baptized but to cut a long story short I was basically told I couldn’t get baptized which surprised not just me but some of the other members in the congregation. I became very depressed over this as I had only just started going out on ministry as an unbaptized publisher and enrolled in the theocratic school etc but this was soon to come to a stop too. I was told at the time that this was because of some surgery I had and they didn't want to put pressure on me which I thought was fair enough and appreciated their consideration but later I found out that this was not the true reason at all! It was to do with how they personally perceived me with regards to their requirements. They had issues with my hair style (1950's styled) and what I did for a living which wasn't an issue when I was studying, infact they used think it was pretty cool what I did. Now because I would not conform completely they prevented me from moving forward in the organization. I worked with a brother who's attitude to people at work was completely different to when he was at the meetings, this was falseness of which I was noticing more and more of within the congregation, Don't get me wrong, there are many genuine ones there with a real deep love for God but I felt that they were mislead by all the organization's rules and regulations.

Myself, my wife and children ceased going to the meetings approx 14 months ago as certain things started to stumble us. Also certain doctrines I disagreed with that just didn’t sit right with me. I had made a handful of very good friends in my congregation but feared my absence from the meetings would affect my relationship with them. I had become uncomfortable with taking sole direction from the governing body as these after all are made up of imperfect men who at the time I did not really know anything about. Jesus said to not out your trust in men and we must check all teachings of scripture. I think they probably started out genuinely believing that they were doing the right thing but somewhere along the way they have become blinded by their own distorted reasoning and thoughts. I kind of feel that the governing body has put themselves in the place of Christ in some respects as alot of Jw’s seem to look for direction via them and the organization rather than Jesus himself even though Jesus clearly said that he was the way and there is no other way but through him that we come to the Father, Jehovah the one true God. I do believe that the Jw’s have the basic principles and moral attitude right and also I truly believe that the majority of the domestics (the regular Jw’s) really do have a deep love for God and just want to do right by him and I admire their zeal & passion, but I also feel so sad that they have been mislead what with all the changes that have taken place within the organization and are to fearful to stand up and challenge the watchtower organization. I do thank them whole heartedly for helping me to come to a good knowledge of the scriptures but it has become obvious to me that I have been searching for a much deeper understanding all along which when looking back over the years it is what has kept driving me and making me question some of their doctrines.
I am currently on a journey which so far has led me through many avenues but at last I feel I am now making good solid spiritual progress. I have had to learn and I still am learning to love and to heal myself with the help of Jesus & our heavenly Father.
As I said, I have been involved with the Jw’s and the organization for many years. I have been mistreated and judged by a couple of individuals throughout this time and it nearly stumbled me to the point of no return. There was a time when I was bullied by certain family members which again was a very difficult stumbling block to overcome but I did overcome it.
Even though we had moved home a fair bit we would always either be drawn towards finding the local kingdom hall or out of the blue they would call on us. I have had more studies than I can remember so I’m pretty clued up in that sense. I always felt something wasn’t quite right though, something just didn’t seem to sit right with me somehow. For a while I just ignored that feeling as felt it was probably just me and decided to throw myself into the meetings at my present kingdom hall. As I said above I had started going out on ministry as an unbaptized publisher and enrolled in the theocratic school, then I had some news which involved me having to have two bouts of surgery and it was a bit of a worrying time for myself, my wife and children but all turned out all ok and the surgery went well, our Jw friends were very supportive and we were so very thankful to have them there. BUT whilst all this was going on, as I mentioned earlier, I was asked one evening at a meeting to have a private chat with two of the elders one of which used to regularly sit in on my study. To my surprise I was told that they thought it wasn’t a good idea for me to go out on ministry due to my surgery as they didn’t want to put me under too much pressure, although disappointed I understood and went along with it and ceased going out on ministry. Well weeks turned into months and no elders had approached me regarding going back out on ministry. I kept asking my study conductor who was also my good friend about it and he approached the elders about it but still no real response. It turned into approx a year and a half when finally an elder approached me. I was told that I couldn’t go out on ministry because I looked to worldly which lead to the next blow which was that I couldn’t get baptized either! A double whammy! I tried to reason with him but to no avail. I was told to change my hair style, at the time I had sideburns but may I add they were very groomed & neat, I was told to shave them short or off. Now the thing is when I was going out on ministry a year or so prior to this, my hair was longer and styled more so in a kind of rockabilly way (Elvisy type style) with longer wider sideburns and yet I was allowed to go out on ministry then and take part in the school, very strange I thought. I soon realised that my surgery had nothing to do with why they wanted me to stop going out on ministry, it was because I didn’t totally conform to their requirements, I was still my own person in many respects even though my hair style was alot more toned down than what it was when I was going out on ministry all that time ago. Also I have made big changes within which showed through in my personality and work. Anyway the elder said that the way I look was detracting from the message, God’s message. I reasoned again saying that if a beautiful woman who was a baptized Jw was to call at the door and a man happened to answer he would naturally notice right away the way she looked, would this then not detract from the message even if only for just a short instance, you cannot change people’s first reaction when they look at you as it’s human nature, for example if someone is unfortunately deformed or disabled this also gets noticed in that first initial instance. Again he just couldn’t see or maybe didn’t want to see or consider my reasoning. Anyway I accepted what he said and if I am honest it made me feel very depressed for quite a while, I felt so unworthy and worthless. It was not an easy time for my wife and children as I was so down all the time and very angry. I took a break from the meetings to get my head together. I decided to venture back but not for anyone other than Jehovah God as I just wanted to please him the best way I could. Needless to say things were never quite the same which lead me to search for a deeper understanding and look for real answers, I started looking at things the way Jesus may see things and try to determine how he would deal with certain issues. The deeper I looked the more certain teachings by the Watchtower didn’t seem in-line scriptually. I used to watch closely how some of the elders and regular Jws would behave and I started seeing cracks in there personalities especially if confronted with questions that were out of their comfort zone. To this day it deeply saddens me to say all of this because I have made some great friends within the organization but I know I have to speak up and tell some truths because it is the right thing to do but I also know that as a result it would see an end to those friendships I hold dear, but God in Heaven and Christ are more important to me and who knows maybe what I have to say might just get some or even just one person there thinking and questioning just as I and all of you have done, what a blessing and a joy that would be! I read up on the scriptures regarding baptizm and approached an elder about it as I realised that it is Christ we must get baptized into not any man or organization (The Father The Son and The Holy Spirit). Also I quoted a watchtower article from July 1955 that I found online quoting that we should not get baptized into the one immersing you, not in any man's name or not into an organization. The elder said it made sense to get baptized into the earthly organization because Jehovah is an organized God, I did not dispute that Jehovah is organized but there is no indication or mentioning in the scriptures of being baptized into an earthly organization and that it was wrong to baptize in any other way apart from in the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, his reply was "we'll have to agree to disagree", I have since called into question some of the doctrines and stances that the Governing body make within the organization. I felt I had to try and reason and bring certain issues to light to a few of our (until recently) Jw friends. Their love is so very conditional, unless you are in subjection to everything the organization requires of you and teaches you then you cannot remain as any part of it which includes your friendships. It doesn’t seem to matter whether you have a real deep love and faith in Jehovah God and Jesus Christ and want to serve them, it seems to make no difference to them at all unless ALL your beliefs and faith are directed and controlled by the Watchtower org. Even my young teenage son has been personally affected as his best friend (a son of one of our Jw friends, an elder) said to him that he will die at Armageddon unless he comes to meetings! We thought it was a horrid thing to say! All I can say is that I would not behave in such a manner and neither would my wife and kids, this is certainly not how I think a Christian should behave. I have been criticized and judged by the way I look (50's style hair style with sideburns) and because I sing and entertain for a living, it was said to my wife that Jesus would not do a job like that and wouldn’t be around worldy people as that’s what my job involves. The thing is I tried to find other work but it just didn’t seem to happen, I prayed about constantly but still the only work that came in was for my singing etc. I know that sometimes I would be around people who may have had a bit too much to drink etc but I DO NOT get involved with them, I just entertain. Most of the time the venues I perform at aren’t full of people like that. Then I was again criticized because I have so many fans, many who are female. Well that is something I do not control but I also have many male fans too! Performing / singing is all I know and all I am really good at, it’s like any job as there are good and bad points to it, it has been my means of supporting my family for many years! I did actually mention the situation with regards to the pop star Prince but was told he was an unbaptized publisher even though I explained to them that I had seen tv interviews of him stating that he was a Jw & proclaiming his faith but they said to their knowledge he was not a baptized Jw. I also mentioned Hank Marvin from the Shadows & was told that he was obviously in line with all the requirements as he was an elder?? I even mentioned George Benson the soul singer but again I kinda just got the brush off & told that these pop stars had obviously made the commitments & reqirements needed to become baptized Jw's.
I am saddened that people we thought were our friends can treat us in this way. What happened to “judge not lest thee be judged” (Matthew 7:1). I was going to confront them over this but once I had calmed down and reasoned on what to do I felt it is better to just let it go and let God deal with it as he sees fit. All I wanted was the truth, plain and simple but I feel that they do not possess the truth because it is Jesus who IS the WAY the TRUTH and the LIFE! I try to share what I have learned where I can but I want to do more, I need to do more! God Almighty and Christ Jesus are on my mind all day and night from the moment I awake until I go to bed to sleep, sometimes I lay awake for hours thinking or talking to God or scriptures will be flying around in my head. Since reading the scriptures independently so much has been revealed to me to the extent that it has even brought me to tears. I was confused as to where to go or what to do & why these truths been revealed to me and why can I see them clear as day yet a lot of Jw's cannot see them, I didn't understand but I do now! I still have many changes yet to make.
I really hope that by sharing my experiences may help others in some way, help them see that they are not alone, I will help all I can.

God Bless!

 

Daz a most complex story your a sheep of Jehovah in my opinion but your a ram type.

I say if you want to get baptised then get baptised repent of your sins and call upon Jesus name for forgiveness.

If you have a certain hair style or clothing

Express your creatively as long as you don't look like me! And go minister! Find a good christian regeneration program and get involved! They aren't just for chemical problems and the need is great!

You can minister for the kingdom in a way that is really needed. I was once a attende of the kingdom Hall baptised and a security guard at the new halls I told my elders I did not feel right or effective knocking on doors and tactfully asked them for alternative methods to serve Jehovah.

They were all to happy to make me the person that goes to the convention center to pick up boxes of literature and serve late night security watch at the new halls.

I was allowed to count that as time and nobody bothered me. I watched as so many people were fed the watchtower society version of Christ and politely told to conform or else!

I just felt a bad spirit in this! Rather than end up disfellowshiped in disgrace I decided to just fade out. I purchased a legitimate license for ministry as an independent minister and that's exactly what I do!

I teach the gospel as its written I use a common bible and if someone wants a deep interpretation I tell them pray to Jehovah first and if he doesn't reveal it I will put you in touch with a christian trained in theology with a doctorate degree.

This works well! I can preach a basic gospel and answer basic questions and forget the 70000 books tracts etc and special rules I dress in a manner that a minister should but I'm a rebel I refuse to wear a tie unless it's for my hanging!

Anyway welcome hope it's good for you here!

 

Hello again Ari, thankyou for your kind words & sharing your what you experienced & also your thoughts.
Ya know when I think back I feel that I was never really fully accepted, hence my prevention from being baptized. I really tried to throw myself into it, I had made big changes inside & out but it was never quite enough. I was judged by the way I look & because I sing & enetertain for living & was told that it was unacceptable because Jesus wouldn’t have done the job that I do, singing & entertaining is all I know. Deep within the depths of my heart something always felt some-what uneasy about the Watchtower’s rules & regulations, was was our freedom in Christ?
I always had questions that were never really properly answered. I saw the differences in class within the congregation, often you would see those with money tended to stick with others that had money. The was alot of critizm & judgements upon fellow Jw’s, ths really bothered me because I knew this was not Christ like. These ones were supposed to set an example. As I said I had been involved with them on and off for around 17 or 18 years, I had many studies through out this time. But now I honestly feel that I really have found new understanding from the scriptures since leaving the organization & I am not just saying that, it’s the truth, I have gown so much closer to the Father & His Son.
I still long to be baptized but I want it done properly & by a genuine Christian, I guess that have already baptized myself within in a personal spiritual sense.
Thankyou again for your reply, it was very much appreciated.

 

Hi Daz

Thanks for sharing your story.

I've been in for over 30 years. I noticed the judgemental behaviour early on, too. I'm pretty observant of people behaviour so I picked up on this fast.

Judgemental behaviour was not tolerated in my household - so I was really surprised to see it at the Kingdom Hall. I'm a "satellite sister" and am in the congregation but not part of it. I don't fit into anyone's clique, either.

 

Thankyou kindly for your reply Wallflower, I am happy to hear that you are your own boss so to speak & not part of any clique, I do miss the association with the friend I made within the organization but my friendship with God Almighty & Jesus Christ are much more impotant to me & my allegiance belongs exclusively to them & only them, not to any man or organization/society.

 

Hello Daz,

I am not the best musician in any place I play. Wherever I go, I see persons who play guitar better...sing better, too. But I love to sing, and have supported myself with it also from time to time, and wish I could do it now, as the job I currently am doing is not working out for me nor my employer.

Christ died for all sorts of men....and those with or without ...HAIR.

The JW religion is baased upon big membership drives, and IMAGE. What's in the heart of believers is not as important to JW GB as keeping your mouth shut, and going along with the rules. If you have issues....squash them...or they will squash you. (DF)

Christ emphasized in John 4 the importance of worshiping Jehovah with truth, and being born of the holy spirit. (John 3) WT, too, has set the latter part aside, and says , more or less, "You do NOT need to be born again.!" (emphasis on exclamation point)

You can feel relieved you are breaking out of an organization dedicated to worshiping according to corporate body's need for uniformity...instead of individual ability , or awareness of Biblical gems. And by this, I mean REAL SCRIPTURAL truths that seem to have eluded the WT editors.

Take a look at the heading for discussion here: 'What is the 'Good News of the Kingdom'?

I feel any Christian who has your respect, and believes the basic teachings of the scriptures would be very glad to baptize you in Jesus' name. No need for corporate approval at all. We are supposed to walk by FAITH...and not be men-pleasers.

Thank you for unwinding your feelings and belief.

Father, bless this sheep and his family, into more spirit and truth, and freedom to worship you together with other free servants of you and your son. In Jesus Christ name we here pray for you, Daz. Amen all?

 

Hello there John S, thankyou so much for your kind reply. Hey I bet you play guitar better than me!
I really appreciate all the points & advice you shared in your post here to me, I am touched by your words of prayer.
Thankyou again my friend!

 

Hi Daz:

Don't you worry about not being a part of the Watchtower. They were the "storehouse" for the Bride of Christ, but are no longer recognized by Jehovah God as his holy organization. They lost that blessing when they invited the throne of Satan (U.N.) into their spiritual temple. All was lost when, instead of admitting their wrongdoing, they wrote that abysmal letter to Elders accusing opposers of all the wrongdoing. In my experience as a former Elder that is what unrepentant people do too, they blame it on somebody or something else, never themselves. Since the Watchtower was and still is unrepentant for their sin Jehovah God no longer recognized their baptism as a way into a covenant with hijm. How can an unrepentant organization be the overseers of a baptism of repentance? Short answer they can't. Keep your eyes open and more importantly your ears. When the angels start to gather up the wheat and place it into Jehovah's warehouse, be sure to get in it.

Frank

 

Hi Joshua:

Apparently you must think that the tower of Babel still exists, but contrary to that thinking, the tower of Babel is long gone. The U.N. however is alive and influencing the affairs of all people on earth whether they realize it or not. In the tower of Babel they spoke one language that Jehovah changed into multitudes of languages. The U.N. on the other hand takes people who speak multitudes of languages and translates them into one. It will be some manifestation of the U.N. or the son of the U.N. which will form the governmental beast that will turn on God's people. Not Jehovah's Witnesses, but those that will become "God's people". Come into the twenty first Century Joshua.

Frank

 

Hi Joshua:

The Hallmark of Satan is large powerful governments (beasts). His throne changes with the change in government that is truely in power over the earth. He has sat on his throne in Babylon, in Medo-Persia, in Greece, Rome and finally in the Anglo-American dual power. That is morphing into a new power and that morphing is happening in the U.N., so where do you think his throne would be? By the way, where does it say that Satan's throne "is" the Tower of Babel? Revelation says that it is where the messenger of Pergamum was located. If Revelation has a modern day fulfilment, are you suggesting that the messenger of Pergamum is the Tower of Babel?

Re 2:12 . 'And to the messenger of the assembly in Pergamos write: These things saith he who is having the sharp two-edged sword:

YLT Re 2:13 I have known thy works, and where thou dost dwell--where the throne of the Adversary is--and thou dost hold fast my name, and thou didst not deny my faith, even in the days in which Antipas was my faithful witness, who was put to death beside you, where the Adversary doth dwell.

Since the messengers were "angels" in a spiritual sense in the first century, they were no doubt the leaders of these congregations in the first century. They were "angels" or messengers by means of their "born again" condition and were constructively "angels" or messengers.
Since Revelation also has a modern fulfillment these messengers of the congregations were also constructively "angels" or messengers. But who were they. I believe the messenger of the congregation at Ephesus was Charles Russell. The angel or messenger of Smyrna was Rutherford and the messenger of Pergamum was Knorr. When Knorr led the Watchtower their headquarters was in Bethel in Brooklyn and the throne of Satan was near them (Pergamum) across the river in Manhattan Island at the U.N.

During the messenger of Thyatyra's messenger, who was Fred Franz the society invited the throne of Satan into their temple. During the messengership of Sardis which was when Henschel was the messenger the association of God's people with the throne of Satan was made better known. The Bible also says that Henschel had a name that was alive but that he was not. Henschel may have been the head of the Watchtower but he was not "alive", he was not a new Covenant Saint or he would have been recognized as "alive" by Christ.

No, Joshua, the Tower of Babel is not the throne of Satan, but the U.N. is and that will be where the final beast will come from, the U.N.

Frank

 

Clearly to you Joshua, but probably no one else.

 

Thankyou Frank, much appreciated.
Regarding Satan's throne, would it not be where God's people are so as to mislead them? He has always been in the midst of those who worship the one true God Yaweh/Jah, an example, look what happened when Moses went away to recieve the ten commandments, Satan infiltrated the camp, hence the the golden calf idol was made & their worship was being given to it, he has been there througout history where God's people are concerned. He isn't interested in the "world" as he already has that & it's functionings in his control, all he is concerned about are those whose allegience is with God the Father & His Son Christ Jesus, these are the ones he desires to mislead & attack, he will use any deception he can, I believe he has infiltrated the watchtower organization as it's members without realizing it are giving their worship to men & the organization acts as an idol, they have distorted their worship of Jah. Christ is no longer the head but men are. Could this not be what Satan really wants? He made it clear he desires none to worship God Almighty & wants all to succumb to his ways, his lies.

 

Daz baptism is important and when your ready find a fellow christian go to a body of water and get baptised! You don't need a special talk!

It goes very simple daz haven't repented of your sins I hereby baptise you in the name of Jehovah Jesus and the holy spirit.
You get dunked .

What comes next is serving Jehovah I was fortunate enough to be baptised at divine victory in that manner.

I'm sorry but if anybody had tried to baptise me with other words they would have met the lion

 

Yes, Daz, I agree with JehovahisGod.

I'm sure Jesus Christ , who instituted the way we are to worship God, is very displeased with the WT's baptismal talks; expressions toward worshipful allegiance of the WT Society. This, being totally out of harmony with his instructions...putting undeserved emphasis on their part in our salvation. Daz lamented That WT....

"do not possess the truth because it is Jesus who IS the WAY the TRUTH and the LIFE! I try to share what I have learned where I can but I want to do more, I need to do more! God Almighty and Christ Jesus are on my mind all day and night from the moment I awake until I go to bed to sleep, sometimes I lay awake for hours thinking or talking to God or scriptures will be flying around in my head. Since reading the scriptures independently so much has been revealed to me to the extent that it has even brought me to tear

I add:...."Furthermore there is no salvation in anyone else, for there is not another name under heaven that has been given among men by which we must get saved." Acts 4:12

Christ means what he says, too.(Rev.22:18,19)

Because you are now born of the holy spirit, Daz, the knowledge from your new teacher is flooding into your mind. It is hard to absorb it all sometimes. You are seeing the truth of God's word being a living thing, as it now grows in your heart through God's spirit, and will never stop flowing...unless we grieve it by doubt or misconduct.

One very favorite of mine and others who write here;

"These things I write you about those who are trying to mislead you. And as for you, the anointing that you received from him remains in you, and you do not need anyone to be teaching you; but as the anointing from him is teaching you about all things, and is true, and is no lie, and just as it has taught you, remain in union with (most all other Bible translations here say, "in"...not "in union with") him." 1 John 2:26,27

God has breathed his holy spirit into you, and there is where the facts are coming from; such as you have come to cherish John 14:1-6

You will especially now relish the Book of John for you will see the true teaching from Christ himself, and how you have received special enlightenment of God's word...from Christ...and via the holy spirit. I am so happy for another JW, who like us, has been born of God's spirit, and freed of men's commands.

Praise the Father, and his loving Son for this...another gift in men.( Eph. 4:8)

 

Thankyou for your reply & advice, please understand that I do not regret not being baptized by the watchtower organization as I learned early on that they had changed the original baptismal vows & it isn't how Christ intended, they baptize you into the organization which to me is wrong as this is not what Christ instructed, it should ONLY be the Father, the Son & the Holy Spirit.
Before they altered the vows which was around 1985 I think, there was actually an article in the watchtower I which it was around 1955, stating that nobody should get baptized in any man's name, or in the name of the person baptizing you or into any organization / society, so basically they have contradicted themselves & gone against what they origally believed. I mentioned this to an elder & made it clear on a few occasions that I was not comfortable with the vows but the elder just kept saying " does it not make sense that we get baptized into Jehovah's earthly organization"

 

Hello again John S, your words indeed touched my heart & I was certainly in need of such kindness & encouragement as I have had a rough time of late & have been struggling so I really cannot express how much you have helped me with uplifting sentiments, thankyou so much John.