I hear you brother - 'For the creation was subjected to futility, not by its
own will but through Him that subjected it, on the basis of hope, that the creation itself also will be set free from enslavement to corruption and have the glorious freedom of the children of God.'

'For not out of His own heart has He afflicted or does He grieve the sons of men.'

I will pray for you Roland...be strong and remember Jehovah will never let you be tempted beyond what you can bare.