Narcissism & Personal Truth

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by Joshuastone7, Oct 13, 2024.

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    Joshuastone7

    Joshuastone7 Administrator Staff Member

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    A question from a reader: "Can you define your use of narcissistic behavior, and how it leads to bias?"

    Narcissism is the mechanism for dogmatism. It is the focus on oneself. It was the entire issue from the Garden of Eden. An inflated sense of oneself leads to confirmation bias in the face of cognitive dissonance. The only way to objectivity is perpetual humbleness.

    If I were to tell my wife, "Maybe we should start eating better." She could take offense and ask, "Are you calling me fat?" Some might believe she is just asking a question, but she is not. She is using a begging-the-question fallacy. Her inward focus on self is leading her to a false assumption. She would believe she had the right to feel however she wished about my statement and could choose for herself my meaning. That is false... Only I can define my meaning.

    Had she asked, "Why do you say we should eat better?" I would have said, "I read an article that healthier food coincides with longevity."

    An inflated sense of oneself and the belief of having the right to think and believe as one wishes through personal truth, leads to confirmation bias and a lack of objectivity. Only the humble can admit they are wrong in a group at the drop of a hat. And those are the kinds of people God is looking for. And that feeling of wanting to prove your knowledge to others is despicable. I can't stand it when hearing someone go on and on about their knowledge in a group of people as if it is a banner of pride. "Look at me and how smart I am." That ego leads to stumbling over facts. It's more likely the quiet one in the room is wiser. Pride based on ego is evil... Confidence based on accomplishments rather than self-worth is true pride.

    Narcism was invented in the Garden: choosing for oneself right and wrong, correct and false. That ego, in the face of cognitive dissonance, results in dogmatism.

    Personal truth is a lie.

    Joshua
     
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    Joshuastone7 Administrator Staff Member

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    Follow-up to summarize: When someone views the world through their own eyes, their self-ego leads them to assume. Assuming is not the process of truth; it is self-reflection.

    Let me offer examples from our conversation. When you didn't quite understand my use of the word narcissism, you assumed I could be using it improperly as a blanket denotation for those who disagreed with me. If I had not addressed your assumption, that could have led you to the further assumption that your assertion must be true. So, two assumptions on your part would actually lead to your determination through your inward evaluations rather than external verification. I'm not saying you would; I'm saying that is the process. Whether or not I am right about my assertions or not is irrelevant to how you determine the validity of my claims.

    Instead of asserting that I should offer my work for peer review, you should have considered the approach objectively. You cannot assume all of the available variables. Picking just one or two possible reasons for the information in front of you limits your scope of definitions and leads you to fallacy and dogmatism. You cannot come to the truth through your own eyes. That is an inward focus on the ego. If you attempt to make sense of the world around you through your own eyes and views, you will fail. The problem is, no one else is you. Just because you mean something by what you say does not mean someone else would similarly use the same meanings.

    If I am to attempt to understand you, I can never assume anything. If I don't have a clear understanding of your intent, I do not choose a possibility, I ask you to clarify until I understand the truth. If I continue to disagree that you do not intend to mean what you say, I would be calling you a liar. I would be a hypocrite, or you would be a liar. Conversation ends.

    Personal truth is a lie. The only personal truth that is allowed is preference. Trust me, when you apply these foundational communications rules into your life, you and your family will live in peace.

    No one is a mind reader. The speaker holds no responsibility to the listener; that notion is a fallacy. I don't have to make myself clear if I don't want to. It's the listener's job to care what I say or not. They do not have the right to take my words out of context. If I don't make them clear and don't care if you understand them or not, then you do not have the right to assume. Accept that you don't clearly understand my intent and move on. It means I didn't intend for you to understand my intent.

    No one can make anyone feel anything. Everyone is responsible for their own feelings. No one made you feel the way you do; you chose to. You don't have to care what the other person's opinion is, and it's highly suggested that you don't. Our confidence comes from accomplishments, not self-confidence.

    Everyone can say what they wish (respectfully and in a normal tone of voice). It's up to the listener to care or not. Only the speaker can define their meaning, and the listener cannot assume.

    This is the proper communication and approach to life. It will keep you objective and humble, away from narcissism and dogmatism, and will lead to a happy home life.

    And so you know, I didn't come up with this view; it's from the Bible, from God. It's what Adam and Eve lost.

    Joshua
     

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